Seven Freeway Driving Tips

What is today's date? 
10-4.

Does that mean anything to you, out there? 

To me, its the greatest day of the year to flaunt my ridiculous love of Citizens Band(CB) radio jargon.  You heard me. 

Affirmitive, I enjoy this lingo more than I should.

I have put together some tips for driving on the freeway, with a very stong CB jargon influence.  Enjoy!


Or at least, don't laugh at me. 

Seven Freeway Driving Tips (heavily influenced by CB lingo)

1. Don't be a four wheel phone booth.  You know what this means, right?  Don't talk on the phone while you are driving.  To use the phrase in a sentence, try this:  "roger we've got a four wheel phone booth just past the choke and puke on the big 10, steer clear good neighbor"
2. Look out for gators in the road and be careful around the gator guts.  This is the most used CB phrase in my world, outside of the classic "10-4".  A gator is the tread of  a blown out tire in the road.  Gator guts are the shredded remains of a blown out tire.  Guts are mostly harmless and the gators are generally large pieces.  They are truly dangerous, so be careful around gators!
3. Don't be bear bait.  You know what a bear is?  Police.  You know like:  couny mounty, astronaut, blue lights, boy scouts, city kitty, evil knivel, honey bear, kojack with a kodak, paper hangers, and tijuana taxis.  I've had my fair share of bear bites and strongly suggest you avoid getting speeding tickets.   This is coming from a retired jet pilot. 
4. Respect the hammer lane and the granny lanes.  If you feel the need to put the hammer down, ride in the hammer lane - otherwise stick to the granny lane.  Nothing annoys your fellow drivers more than disrespecting these conventions.
5. When you start checking your eyes for pinholes, take a cue and stop at the local nap trap.  Driving when you're tired is never a good plan, stop at a roadside motel and catch a few z's.  
6. Keep your tank full of that go-go juice.  Nobody should run out of gas, if the sign says 50+miles to the next stop, evaluate and maybe refill the tank.  Walking several miles just for some motion lotion is completely preventable.
7.  Don't be a bumper sticker.  Bears will get ya for this, if you don't get yourself into a bit of an ooooops first.  Tailgating is very dangerous especially on the big road where you are often doing the double nickel or more!  Be safe out there!

Devyn out in the Sticker patch - over and out, come back(in the comments)!

I'm not as awesome as you may think, I had to look up a lot of this lingo and was completely helped by this site.