Seven Candy Bars

Hey Everyone!

Are you excited?  I'm getting excited.  

The one day of the year where you can eat as much candy as you can get your hands on is fast approaching and Herc is back to give you a piece of his mind on the subject of candy bars. 

I haven't enjoyed several of these treats and sincerely feel like I'm missing out.  *sad face*

7 Candy Bars

Herc has a bit of a sweet tooth - more than 30 of them actually. On a health kick now, it’s been a few months since he’s tasted any candy bar but if he could, these would be the ones he’s seek out. No tricks, just these treats please.

SnickersHerc’s go-to candy bar whenever given a choice, he likes them in all sizes, flavors and states of refrigeration.

Mr. Goodbar
In junior high, Herc let it be known that the way to his heart was through his stomach via these yellow wrapped wonders. More than a few times he opened his locker to find bar after bar after bar waiting for him - they fit perfectly in the slotted vents of the locker.

 PaydayIt’s sweet, it’s salty, it’s delicious.

MunchBasically, a thin rectangle piece of peanut brittle. Mmm, peanut brittle. Only it has more peanuts. And only six ingredients. Check it.

Baby RuthHands down, the messiest candy bar Herc’s ever had the pleasure to consume. Pieces of chocolate and peanut halves rain down around him every time.

Gone but not forgotten category:

AvalancheIn 2007, for a few months, the makers of Payday bars had the bright idea to cover the Payday in milk chocolate. Genius. Then they stopped. Nooooooooooo!

Marathon BarThis bad boy was Herc’s favorite candy bar back in the day. It was 8” and there was a ruler on the wrapper so you knew it was true. For those of you who never had the pleasure, it was braided caramel covered in chocolate. They stopped making them in 1981. The interwebs tell of a similar bar still manufactured by Cadbury in the United Kingdom called the Curly Wurly. Herc’s Kingdom for a Curly Wurly!

Seven Reasons I DESPISE Bananas

Hoy es Martes!

That's "Today is Tuesday" for you non-Spanish speakers.  Don't tell me I never taught you anything.  Now you know.

Remember back when I started this little blog? For those that don't have 7 w/D's birthday in your planners like me, it was June 30, 2011.  That was:

2955 page views ago...(holy sh*t!)

158 human written comments ago...(lots of spam, like 40 or so)

88 posts ago...(longest streak I have ever attained - yay!)

3 followers ago...(actual subscribed followers...)

All that time ago, I wrote the first post and promised you seven different sevens.  I recently checked in on that first post and evaluated myself.  SPOILER ALERT: I am not doing very well!  Take a look at the initial seven, I've crossed out my accomplished topics...

• Seven Reasons I Despise Bananas
• Seven Ways To Avoid Having A Social Life
• Seven Arguments For Boxed Brownie Mix (...from a pastry chef)
• Seven Television Shows You Must See & Why
• Sevyn Reasons Why My Name Is Better Than Yours ('cause it is...)
• Seven Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch/Listen To Rachel Ray
• Seven Reasons Not To Buy A House (maybe a point/counterpoint piece)

...yeaahhhh...

88 entries later I have ignored 6/7 topics that I promised to write!  I have claimed to have nothing to write about to my family and friends.  I now freely admit that I AM A LIAR.  I aim to fix this.  Some of these topics are kind of silly and not in the direction I want to take the blog, but I refuse to break my promise to the entire interwebs. 

Did you see that I wrote the fifth bullet point as Sevyn with a Y?  I am so clever.  I just amazed myself.  I'm awesome and way too obsessed with my own name.  Thanks a lot Ma and Pa, you created a legend monster.

In the spirit of keeping my promise, I want to tell you about my disdain of that yellow fruit.  I'd like to warn you, if you have never heard this rant in person, you are in for a treat.  I am very passionate about my hatred for this yellow "fruit".  I don't know why I hate them so.  I don't know when I started hating them so(used to like them as a kid) but I don't see that going away any time soon.  Last food around?  I'll starve thanks. 

image from here

Seven Reasons I DESPISE Bananas

• That damn peel & its stupid strings! You know what I mean.  What other fruit has a peel that is useless?  Oranges(citrus) have peels, but they are full of delicious essential oils and that magical zest that we use in everything to make it better.  Most other fruits have skins that aren't so damn nasty.  Just look at the picture, the peel is in full view and is just really gross looking.  Where do the strings come into play?  Why do they need to be there?  They ruin banana foods.  Yes, despite my supreme hatred of bananas I still cook with them and can respect their delicious factor to people other than myself.  But the strings bother me so bad, they get in between my fingers when I'm trying to chop a million bananas up at work and its not a pretty situation.  Ask all my coworkers, there is generally profanity and a colorful spread of it.  
• What the FRAK is up with the slime factor?  No seriously, can somebody explain this to me?  Open up a banana and its pretty dry(not wet?).  Then as it sits or as you handle it while cooking it or like when a kid manhandles it, it gets so so SO slimy.  Knives get this residue all over them and it takes some real elbow grease to get rid of.  Its nasty.  Slime + Strings = Worst.Combination. Ever.  I can't even talk about it anymore, I'm getting too worked up about it. 
• No need for all the colors, Mr. Banana.  They start off green and then morph into the yellow bananas people enjoy.  Next they start to take on freckles and people still like them.  The freckles take over the bananas and turn them completely brown.  This is where you make banana bread or banana muffins or just throw them away.  If you let them continue down their chosen path they will be black before they take on the various colors of mold.  Why do they have to be so fancy and flaunt all these colors and stages?  They are rude and boisterous and I hate them for it.
• Why so mushy?  I like apples and pears and peaches and they all have some texture and structure to them.  Oranges have the little bits that hold it all together which provides this texture variation.  Grapes, melons, and even berries all have something to them you know? You can eat bananas with no teeth.  I like my teeth, they have cost me (and my parents) a fair chunk of money, so can you blame me for wanting to use them to eat???
  
• The smell that lingers.  My coworkers and roommates laugh at me because I can ALWAYS tell when bananas have been used.  Even if they are put away and cleaned up after, I can tell.  Without seeing them in the garbage or seeing it crossed off the list I can smell tell.  Baking banana bread really lingers too but I'll tell you why I can't hate that and its all my grandma's fault.  She makes banana bread for as long as I can remember.  Its nothing fancy with nuts or anything.  Just bananas and a quick-bread recipe.  It has a texture that I love and spreading butter all over it makes it so supreme.  It is the ONE banana infested item that I can eat and not want to spit out.  Its a really simple treat but rooted so deep in my memories that I will always enjoy it.  Funny how that works, huh?
• All of the artificial banana flavored/scented goods in the entire WORLD.  Candies, candles, air fresheners, fluorides, scratch and sniffs, beverages, etc.  You can get banana ANYTHING.  They all suck.  They don't taste like banana, they smell so fake it makes me sick, and they are no bueno.  You know how upset the smell of real bananas make me?  This turns me into the incredible HULK. 
• Taste. I taste any food I make with bananas and every once in a while (every year or two) I try a raw banana to check if anything has changed.  It never changes.  They just don't taste good to me.  Guess what, that's my prerogative as an American: I can hate bananas for no reason(except I clearly have seven).  And so I do.  

If you've stuck around this long, on my longest post EVER, please pat yourself on the back.  You deserve that pat, ya'll.  Anyone wanna fight me on this?  Anybody have any other completely rational hatred towards inanimate objects?

Seven Favorite Bite Sized Candies (not bars)

Another Sunday with no guest blogger.

Are you people telling me you haven't thought of a fun 7w/D list after reading this?  That my thought provoking words haven't helped your creative juices?  That you don't want in on this great blog?

.....

Fine.

Today I bring you the follow up to my post about candy bars.  Today we are about candies - not bars.  The kind you can pop in your mouth or come in bite size pieces or even are individually wrapped.


Seven Favorite Bite Sized Candies (not bars):

• Rolos.  Perfectly bite sized, indivdually wrapped and delicious to boot?  How much closer to perfect can you get?  Rich caramel, chocolate, and shiny gold wrappers are the winners!
• Skittles.  Taste the rainbow indeed.  Fruity chewy goodness.  With my recent teeth troubles I can't enjoy them like i used to: pour half the bag and chew(hard).  Make a giant ball of delicious skittles.  I also heard you can make flavored vodka from them.  KM, get on it!
• Raisinets.  Chocolate covered raisins.  Raisins are wonderful alone.  As a kid I used to plow through them in my school lunches.  I was a big fan of plain raisins.  I was also a fan of chocolate.  Then the two worlds collided and I have been hooked ever since.  I enjoy them from any provider, honestly and can polish off way more than the suggested serving size.  I'm talking 4x said size. Hello my name is Devyn and I'm an addict.
• Milk Duds.  Another caramel chocolate combo.  The difference lies in the texture.  Milk Duds are more of a crapshoot, in that sometimes they may be hard as a rock and other times they are the perfect texture to pop in and enjoy without breaking your crown loose.  
• Starburst.  Another chewy fruity confection. I prefer to eat them least favorite to favorite so obviously I eat the yellows, then the oranges.  Then I eat all of the pinks and save the reds for a sweet finish.  FORGET all of the other made up flavors, the original is the only ones that matter.  Same goes for the skittles, with sour skittles being the only exception.
• Crispy M&M's.  I like the original m&m's.  They are not my go-to candy though, at all.  I prefer almost anything else.  I fell in love with a special variety back in the day.  Crispy M&M's.  They may have been my perfect candy.  Then, as with anything I love, THEY ARE GONE!  It has been years since I have had them, years since they were available, and years since I smiled the smile of a person enjoying crispy m&m's.  May they rest in peace. 
• Riesen.  I may have saved the best for last.  A confection approaching its 100th birthday.  Dark chocolate enrobes a beautiful chocolate caramel.  Deliciously chewy, disgustingly rich, and oh so bad for your teeth.  I can't eat just one.  Or just a handful.  I eat the entire package.  Wrappers litter the floor and I start to wonder what just happened because I must have blacked out.  Easily my favorite indulgence that I have to actively avoid for my waistline, my dental bill and my own personal sanity.  Now you know what this girl runs on!

I am listening to my itunes library right now and guess what just appeared on shuffle? The musical theme to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  I love that movie and ALL of the music in it.  I always wanted to have an oompa loompa.  More on my fascination with little people some other time.

What are your favorite candies?  Have you enjoyed mine? 

Have you never had a riesen?  Don't even bother telling me, just un-bookmark this site, un-friend me on facebook, erase my number from your phone and rip me out of all of your photos. 
(Just kidding. sorta)

Seven Greatest Candy Bars

Can we talk?  I have a problem. 

Its Sunday again which normally means guest blogger time!  Alas, I have apparently tapped out my resources.  I only know 3 people willing to write me a guest post?  That makes me a little sad.  I give you free reign.  Any topic, commentary or not, and I rarely edit.  Come on!  I'm not begging, but I'm asking you with a sad look on my face....wanna guest blog for me?

You'll wish you took me up on this once I hit the big time.  I promise you that.  I also promise to forget all of the small people.  Big time Devyn = big time friends.  Remember this, small people.




Moving on, today let's discuss candy bars!  I am in food, so I consider it my responsibility to have hands on knowledge on all things in my realm.  Candy is definitely a pastry type treat.  I am also a red blooded American which means I was raised on candy.  I have the teeth to prove it!  Candy is highly personal to me.  Everyone has a favorite and more often than not it is a nostalgic memory. I don't eat just anything.  I won't settle.  I eat what I want or I eat nothing.  

To me, there are two types of candy: bars or bite size candies.  I don't mean bite sized versions of bars, but candies that are smaller or always individually wrapped.  Like m&m's or the mints that Sonic gives out.  I have compiled a list of my favorite candy bars today and am planning out a follow up piece on the bite size variety.  

Today is just a little bit different in that I am assigning homework.  If you have not had any of the bars on this list, go out and have them.  I want you to get the full hands on experience.  Then, comment and tell me all about it and tell me what your faves are and I will rush out to the store and have my own hands on experience.   


Seven Favorite Candy Bars:



Zagnut: I first discovered this bar when I was visited Hershey, PA a little over a year ago!  Its been around for a few decades and is definitely my favorite chocolate free candy bar of all time.  Crunchy peanut butter and toasted coconut come together to create a symphony in your mouth and on your tongue.  So crispy and just delicious.  When I first saw them, the name caught my interest and the word coconut made me say “ew”.  Feeling adventurous I bought one.  I ate it right away and was hooked.  I then bought 6 to take back to Pittsburgh where I was for 6 weeks and bought several more and then brought a few dozen back to Arizona for my family.  Turns out nobody liked them like I did.  Oh well, their loss.  I now almost always have some on hand at my house.  Emergencies, you know.

(like right now, as I write this I had to tap my stash just to make sure I described it right...)


 

Kit Kat: Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that kit kat bar!  Catchiest theme song for a candy bar? I think so.  I almost only enjoy this bar straight out of the refrigerator.  I love the layers and the texture and the supreme satisfaction that comes from this bar.  We almost always have them at work and that is a very bad thing...

Snickers: To me, this is the perfect chocolate candy bar available.  Salty, sweet, chewy, caramely, nougaty, smooth, crunchy and just awesome.  I met a fellow pastry professional who replicated this candy bar as a dessert and it is on my top 5 list of best composed desserts I’ve ever had.  I wish I could make it as well as she did.  My biggest problem is that the bar is so small...so many calories packed into that tiny little guy, though.  

100 Grand:  Caramel is an instant winner in my life.  Gooey delicious caramel.   Makes me drool every single time.  This bar is also coated with crisped rice, which as I’m sure you will concur, provides the perfect amount of crunch and texture.  I try to stay away from these since they lead to more visits with my dentist.  Lovely guy, but I know him too well due to my frequent trips.  Let’s just call it a job hazard.  The mini 100 grands are so so so very deadly.  Beware!

Pay Day: I rarely live my life with superstitions.  That being said, one that I adhere to is that I eat a pay day on pay day.  I invented this, and I find it to be very clever.  I think it helps.  Don’t argue with me.  Anyways this bar is the definition of salty sweet to me.  Salty peanuts cover the perfect caramel center.  It can help boost energy too because of the protein.  Maybe they should market it as an energy bar?

Butterfinger: “Crispety Crunchety Peanut Buttery” Their slogan makes them a favorite of mine already!  I blame this candy bar for 50% of my cavities.  The other 50% shall be determined in a future post.  

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups:  I am pretty sure that I would be kicked out of my family if I didn’t enjoy this delicacy.  Its almost its own food group in our house.  There are usually some in the refrigerator crisper drawer.  Its one food that all 5 of us enjoy.  Chilled is the best, but I’ve eaten it every single way.  Room temp, melty, melted, puddled, off the floor, frozen, even fried!  Obviously this is a classic candy bar combination of chocolate and peanut butter.